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do i know you? [May. 24th, 2030|09:46 pm]

and if you're a friend from school, you can fuck off aswell.

Linktell me

a return? [May. 2nd, 2007|08:09 pm]

well well, after finally getting back my password for this account, i thought i'd better update it for all the existing lurkers on here
* i see you Priscilla =P xxx*

i'm still surviving this thing we call life quite soundly, a few bumps here and there, yet still running along smoothly.
im 15 now =)
me and scott made it to half a year last month,
salv still haunts me in different ways. no, that boy will never fuck off.
he has a new girlfriend and to be honest i don't give a shit about them, what he does now is down to him.
school is getting a tad hard now, we year 10's are getting our end of year exams in a few weeks, and i have teachers bugging me to get my coursework up to my target grade of an A, because they 'know' i can get those grades.
and i know i can aswell, but theres only so much i can handle =( i mean, i can never be rachael (super brainy girl in my class)
and i have over 4 pages of french coursework to memorise for my mock speaking exam next wednesday =/

i don't know...i think i've realised what life is all about now.
it gets harder and harder. i've passed the age where everything is all easy and carefree.
i just have so much to do...and its going too fast.

this journal will probably get more quieter and quieter, it contains too many memories.
but i don't feel like deleting it =)
so, if you still care...

love you all x

Linktell me

(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2007|11:12 pm]
Today, in geography. i was a bit off lol.
that convo above was pretty cute <3
when i said about my weekend going to be very boring.
salv asked if i wanted to go out on sunday.
i don't know if he'll remember, but i'll remind him somehow lol.
i mean, we'd only be going out as friends, but its freaking me out a bit.
god, why couldn't of this happened last year?
Linktell me

(no subject) [Feb. 1st, 2007|03:23 pm]
im actually feeling quite upset at the minute.
and pissed off.

yesterday, salv promised me that he would text me right?
and he didn't.
then today i find out he was texting laura instead.
now, im not bothered about it being salv, or whatever.

what fucks me off, is the fact he promised me something, then didn't do it.
i mean, its like, he can text others fine, but not me.
i just dont know what i've done. what makes ME stand out from all these other girls that he can't text me?

then he comes out with all this bullshit saying he HAD texted me saying hi n' shit.
but i didn't get that text.
so basically he didn't bother.
it hurts.

it hurts when nearly everyone else does it to you as well, but with different things.
im always the one left out or forgotten about.

so what the fuck am i to him and all those others i call friends? am i just this person with no feelings who people come to for help and everything i can possibly give them and thats it? afterwards im just used goods, waiting to be used some more later on? i mean, i DO EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY CAN for those people, and i get nothing in return most of the time.

thats right, not even one measly text.

maybe im just overreacting, but tbh, i really wouldn't mind crying at the minute.
and salv, next time, don't feed me bullshit, you fucking twat.
Linktell me

don't i love you like you wanna be loved? [Dec. 17th, 2006|01:20 am]
its things like this which make my life worth living. =)

><>< EveryBodyLovesSCOOTYPUFF!!><>< I YOU KATTY! says:

ok i have to go now

,,,supahtriinaa,,, so dont you ever go away...losing you would kill my faith in a higher place.... [scootypuff!] says:

aw okay

><>< EveryBodyLovesSCOOTYPUFF!!><>< I YOU KATTY! says:

ill speak to you tomowwo

,,,supahtriinaa,,, so dont you ever go away...losing you would kill my faith in a higher place.... [scootypuff!] says:

will it be another late night convo like tonight?

><>< EveryBodyLovesSCOOTYPUFF!!><>< I YOU KATTY! says:

hopefully and dont forget i love you!!

,,,supahtriinaa,,, so dont you ever go away...losing you would kill my faith in a higher place.... [scootypuff!] says

i love you too n i mean it when i say i want us to be together for a long time remember that okay

><>< EveryBodyLovesSCOOTYPUFF!!><>< I YOU KATTY! says:

ok love you!!! bubi

Linktell me

welcome... [Dec. 14th, 2006|11:27 pm]

im thinking about something.
and its scaring me.
im thinking about the time that will come when me and scott break up.
firstly, im NOT saying i want that to happen or that its going to happen soon.
but its one of those things you dont want to happen or think about...but you have to.

it just makes me wonder...
how will it happen? how will i take it? will we both still be friends afterwards?
argh it scares me so much because i dont want it to happen =[

ily scott!

Linktell me

(no subject) [Nov. 28th, 2006|11:13 pm]
"pull the bedcovers over your head, if you let them win then you're better off dead...let it go."
 Busted - Let it Go

mmm...i feel like ive fucked my boyfriend right off.
i can't be arsed to explain all of it.
today is his 15th birthday.
and today he asked me round his house with raymond and kane.
i said i'd have to ask my parents.
when i was walking home from school he called me up, asking me whether or not i was going over his.
again, i had to say that i didnt know yet, coz i still had to ask my mum.
so he said he'd call me back in a little while.
and he didn't.
and i didnt know whether or not he wanted ME to call him up or whatever, so i just basically left it,
thinking that maybe he didnt want me there coz he had raymond and kane with him or whatever.

now usually when he comes online he talks to me straight away, but today he didn't.
he didn't initiate a convo with me at all :/
and i was too scared to say anything to him coz im thinking he's fucked off at me.

so yeah, i dont know whats going on ...
Linktell me

(no subject) [Nov. 17th, 2006|02:41 pm]
McFly - Friday Night

Sleeping through the day 'cause I work all night
Get out the way things are coming a-live
Look over there, another fight
I guess I should have seen the warning signs

We could be together (Im not looking for a fight)
Change the world forever (just wanna make it through the night)
Make it all together (they're really giving me the...

Think Im gonna lose it, lose it, lose it
Think Im gonna lose it, lose it, lose it

Think Im gonna lose it

The walls are growing ears, Im paranoid
No need to fear what you cant avoid
Dont let 'em in, dont let 'em out
I'll give you something you can scream about

We could be together (Im not looking for a fight)
Change the world forever (just wanna make it through the night)
Make it all together (they're really giving me the...

Think Im gonna lose it, lose it, lose it
Think Im gonna lose it
Think Im gonna lose it, lose it, lose it
Think Im gonna lose it

No, no, nothings wrong with dreaming
Go, go, go you're dreaming all away
One love, one life, and thats enough to get you through the night
Tomorrows gonna be a brighter day
Hey, hey, hey
Linktell me

(no subject) [Nov. 5th, 2006|08:26 pm]
I really want to get rid of this journal...
because of all the memories of the past year it contains.

but i can't.
1. i love the name - xdiscothequex
2. i have the biggest stats that ive ever had since ive been on LJ.

so maybe i'll have to go back through all the shit and delete them all by hand...
which means i'll have to read them :/
Link1 told me|tell me

(no subject) [Oct. 15th, 2006|09:07 pm]
i've only just accepted the reason why i've been feeling really upset and weird all weekend.
i...really miss his friendship.
it's just...he's changed so much, he isn't the person that i knew and loved so much anymore :/
and because of that, i don't laugh at his jokes anymore or whatever, i just don't take an interest in him.
because i just feel he doesn't care about me anymore and that if i DO take an interest, that i'll get accused of something by either his girlfriend or her mates.
i feel that he's been brainwashed against me by them.
because he HAS changed...as i said before...ALOT.
i'm also really uncomfortable around him because i now know that he knew for a period of time that i fancied him.
so its a bit like, if i just act normal, like i did when i fancied him, he might be laughing at me behind my back or thinking "oh shit whats she trying to do? she ain't got a chance with me so why is she doing that?" and i don't wanna embarrass myself...

i don't like it at all...i miss his jokes, i miss being with him, i miss not being able to be his friend properly.
we were really, really close friends, i loved him so much as a friend, i mean yeah okay, we had our moments,
but i feel we had something special there.
i remember saying a while back if i couldn't be his girlfriend, that i wanted to be his close, close, close friend.
that i would just forget about my other feelings and concentrate on having a really good friendship.
but i can't even fucking have that now. its all fucking gone.

i miss him okay? =(
i want my friend back.
Linktell me

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